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How to Keep Your Marriage Alive in Desperate Times.

All marriages go through tough periods. Marriage problems, at times, seem to be impossible to resolve. Maybe your spouse has had an affair, it could be a financial difficulty or perhaps the love in your relationship has disappeared. Whatever the reason for your marriage troubles, don’t give up, your marriage doesn’t have to end.

But, how do you keep hope alive even when you think all is lost? Solutions to marriage problems can be found if you look hard enough and you’re willing to take action. Surprisingly, many marital relationships are even strengthened during these times of crisis.

First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for the relationship, a marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember, most often, he or she also has invested much time and effort in the relationship and may have second thoughts about leaving.

Also realize that when there are problems in a marriage, people often say extreme things and try out It’s essential that you don’t take their comments to heart. In some cases, your spouse will probably feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may cover up their feelings of guilt by striking out in an angry, verbal manner.

By taking their anger as a personal attack, you are further harming a marriage in crisis. How you react to the emotion-charged situation will have a profound impact on how your marriage difficulties may be resolved.

Badgering or pestering a spouse who asks for more “space” to think through marital problems is not the way to go. Instead, you should use this space to sort out your own feelings and emotions and prepare for the tough work ahead in repairing your marriage.

Whatever you do, giving in to anxiety or frustration and demanding from your husband or wife immediate answers to difficult questions won’t provide long-term solutions to your marriage problems.

Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes, when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or her partner. Finding “little things” to pick at will only serve to fuel the already tense marital situation. Back off a bit. Keep focussed on the bigger issues in your marriage that need to be addressed.

Likewise, don’t rush into making hasty decisions. Your emotions are on a roller-coaster ride at the moment, so find things that help to keep you grounded. For example, exercise regularly and take care of your diet to keep your body in good physical shape. Read, maybe get some individual therapy, or attend church or anything to keep your mind and spirit in shape. Keep yourself balanced both physically and mentally as best you can.

It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have marriage problems tend to focus on their relationships like a laser beam letting it consume all their time and energy. As you start enjoying your own life more it’s much easier to remain positive about achieving what you want from your marriage and solving any troubles.

It’s important for you to realize that you can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control your reactions to him or her. When there are difficulties in a marriage, becoming insecure and depressed won’t help. These reactions only do marriage in crisis more damage.

You need to trust your ability to find a creative solution to your marriage problems. However, whatever the outcome, if you’ve done your best to resolve the relationship issues at hand and perhaps followed some of the suggestions mentioned above, self-recrimination should not enter your mind.

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